PerempuanSocial Life

Choices

Everyone’s given numerous choices every single day. From the simple ones such as choosing the food we eat on a daily basis, choosing the clothes we wear, to the more complex ones such as choosing a university or work place. With choice, comes decision. Decisions are usually made after some time of analyzing the pros and cons of every single one of the choices given. Decisions are also made based on our wants and needs.

Typically, women have more of a hard time when it comes to making decisions as women are so easily judged by society based on the choices we make. For centuries, women have been put into an invisible box where we are told what to do, what to wear, how to speak, how to walk and stuff like that. That was how the stereotypes were created, and with the presence of stereotypes, the easier it is for women to be discriminated. Women are often told to change the way they do things just because it is “unwomanly” in society’s view. It is truly absurd that women are still being treated this way and is constantly oppressed to fit into society’s standards of “womanly”. What is “womanly” anyway? We are the women, shouldn’t it be us who have the say in what’s “womanly” and what’s “unwomanly”?

This is where the fear comes into play. Women are so often judged by society based on every single little thing they do and it creates a sense of fear when making decisions. Women are perceived as indecisive, when in reality, women tend to over analyze the situation, the choices and the outcome of a certain decision which prolongs the time needed to make a certain decision. It is due to the fear of feeling prosecuted when a choice or decision goes against social standards. But it is important to know that decisions shouldbe made according to one’s want, need, hobby, talent and etc.

Typically, decisions are made to plan or to prepare for the future. In making decisions for the future, it is important to note that it should require a detailed and concrete plan, to avoid regrets and to have a back-up plan in case something goes wrong somewhere along the way. A detailed and concrete plan includes the readiness to handle any problems or issues that may arise in the future and a readiness in terms of finances. A concrete planned person beats any other unprepared person, as a concrete plan has maps out the steps, solutions and back up plans that can help the plan go as wanted.

Of course, where there is a decisions, there will also be regrets. Regrets usually comes after something’s been done, or after it’s too late. It is impossible to not have any regrets since having to be living an imperfect life in such imperfect society in an imperfect environment. It is not the imperfectness of everything that creates regret. No single thing was created perfect, nor is destined to be. And it is normal to have regrets over something, that had already past, especially regretting a decision once made. After realizing the feeling of regret over a choice, analyze the possibilities of what went wrong and where it went wrong, whilst stopping and swerving the direction from the plan to a back-up plan, before it does too much and too hard fix.

Choices are always given to everyone. Picking one of the choices requires hard thought and plans. However, it should be known that in order to succeed in making decisions later on in life, one should have been taught since childhood on how to make decisions. Because, what usually happens is that, children gets their decisions made for them by parents and people around them, when children should’ve been taught on how to make their own decisions in order to train them to be able make bigger decisions later in life.

(c) Grace Monica, April 2018
(Intern Student from Kanaan Global School)

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