Violence is something that is no longer an uncommon thing that happens ever so rarely. It has happened a lot, especially lately. With the wide news coverage of intense demonstration acts done by the masses in front of government representatives’ offices, to the tabloid headlines of certain celebrities that have just came forward to being violently abused within relationships (both romantically and professionally).
Violence and abuse has 2 main types, which are emotional and physical. Emotional violence usually happens when the victim endures severely degrading comments from the abuser, while physical violence is about the physical pain that the victim endures from the abuser. Both types are as equally as destructive and as damaging as each other to the victim’s mental health.
A victim of an abusive or violent act usually has a very low self-esteem, constantly feels helpless and hopeless, impulsive, co-dependent and self-blames a lot. Those are usually caused by the destructive acts of the abuser that messes up with the victim’s mind, where the victim is usually wronged for everything they had done and causes the victim to constantly does self-blame which eventually leads to more and more problems such as low self-esteem and so on.
An abuser usually uses violence towards the victim to cause intimidation and to prove a point to the abuser’s existence. An abuser usually has a low self-esteem that they are willing to try to prove a point of their existence, just to feel better about themselves and to prove to themselves that they are stronger and above the victim’s level. An abuser usually shows signs of being manipulative or controlling as they would threaten their victims repeatedly if their victims aren’t willing to comply to their wants and wishes.
With cases of domestic violence, it is more common for women to be victims of abusive men. But there are some cases where men are victims of abusive women, which are rarely reported compared to women being abused by abusive men. Yet, there are still a lot of cases of domestic abuse that aren’t even reported at all, as the victims (both women and men) are often threatened by the abuser and the victims are ashamed to be perceived as weak in report about being abused.
Abuse cases are often harder to handle, than to prevent. Handling in abuse cases requires a lot of time, especially in domestic abuse within a marriage, which have a very long process of handling. Preventing abuse cases, however, requires nothing more than the ability to realize and understand when a relationship is toxic, before it gets into a more permanent level, like marriage, as most people are too blinded by “love” to want to leave a toxic relationship. In preventing abuse cases, one must identify the signs of an abusive relationship and must be willing to report it to the police or just anyone that can help get them out of the abuser’s grasp.
The mishandling of abuse cases might also be one of the reasons why victims aren’t willing to report being abused. There are a lot of abuse cases that are mishandled which resulted the abusers to get away with what they did. It is important for everyone to know that abuse cases aren’t a simple case that are down below in importance, because an abuse crime is still a crime that the perpetrator has to be indicted with.
People should also know that no form of abuse is okay and that the slightest form of abuse should never be tolerated. And this way, hopefully, domestic abuse and violence cases can be prevented.
(c) Grace Monica, April 2018
(Intern Student from Kanaan Global School)